• Poems and Pearls

Efforts You (Men) Don’t Make

Efforts: physical or mental activity needed to achieve something (cambridge dictionary)

There are a lot efforts that nowadays men don’t make when it comes to dating or courting a girl. And I think that’s a shame.

There is so much that could be done with much more imagination, much more anticipation, much more creativity, much more delicacy and with much more attention to details.


Here are the 5 areas I think men could definitely use more creativity in.

1. Investing in a relationship from the get-go

Have you seen the movie Spider Man: Far From Home ?

In this movie, Peter Parker, a.k.a Spider-Man, methodically plans to declare his love to MJ in Prague, by offering her a beautiful bracelet bought in Venice, while on a school trip, y’all.

Of course, eventually things do not go exactly as planned, but his intentions were so creative and actually showed how invested he wanted to be in this relationship from the get-go, and how precious he considered this girl to be.

2. Not being basic

This one kind of resonates with the first point : do not be basic. No woman wants a basic man.

There is nothing interesting about a man who doesn’t show any type of uniqueness, special features or even complexity. Relationships are part of the human experience and is it meant to enrich us. Try to make her discover something new, learn together, participate in her growth, bring new perspectives to her, etc.

The only way not to bring a mere basic atmosphere into a relation is not to be basic in the first place.

3. Leading with purpose

You know the expression that may refer to a male as "the man of the house," right? Well, that is it. Be a man who knows where he’s going and therefore, who knows where he is taking his girl. Be a man who knows how to take decisions and submit them gently to the people surrounding him. Do not be the type of man that is just ‘out there’ with no plan, no ambition, no dreams or purpose. If you have confidence in yourself, and most importantly if you have confidence in God, your woman will feel secure in trusting you with her love & future.

4. Going out of your way for her

This might be my favorite point ever. Do not hesitate to go out of your way for the woman in your life. Offer to drive or walk her home, or to wait at the bus stop with her. Do and try things you had never done for anyone else before just like Peter did for MJ. A woman who catches your attention and that you want to pursue must represent that much for you. Once she acknowledges that and realizes the risks you keep taking for her, it will make a difference.

5. Simply being imaginative & creative

Don’t just repeat the same patterns over and over again. You can turn little things into great things if you just put some effort into it. We all love a healthy routine but you need to wow her from time to time, to surprise her so your relationship does not just turn flavorless and flat. It’s that simple.

Sorry not sorry,

Love y'all


PS: I’ve got a crush on you, Spider-Man 💋

#men #leading

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