In Love With A Man Who Doesn’t Exist
Be in love : to love someone very much in a romantic way (merriam-webster dictionary)
It was so easy for me to picture a man I thought would be perfect to me and for me. So I did it.
I have a very creative imagination which I love using, so when it comes to romance and the man that would seem to be the perfect fit for me, I went all in!
That was a great mistake. Why? because I fell in love with the man I had made up in my mind:
a man who doesn’t exist.
I think it all came from the standards that I have, having very high standards, and no one around me being able or willing to meet them. So, came the hope that I would meet him later and that in the meantime, I could just picture him and imagine life with him, all in my HEAD.
It doesn’t work like that
I can’t just live this fantasized unreal romance. There is no point to it as it is not real and the man who is the subject of this fantasy is not real.
I used to tell my mind: well, he exists somewhere, I’ll meet him! But I would literally sense the spirit of God telling me:
So, I listened to Him and I let go. Because the reality was THAT strong. What was the point of me, not even living, but imagining myself living something that isn’t real
something that once again isn’t real?
Now, of course I still hang on to my standards and hope that what I want in a man I will have, but I leave it to God, letting Him surprise me.
Yes, I’ve made a list but with a certain distance only to avoid shifting from one extreme to the other :
Worshipping an ideal
Settling for less