Some Relationship Advice
A couple of years ago I attended a relationship conference. I thought it would be interesting for me to share with you guys the very relevant key points of this conference.
They are simple clues to creating and maintaining a healthy and thriving marriage. These are good for relationships leading to marriage as well!
1. We have the power
Jesus gave us the power to live successful lives and to conquer the world. We have the power to to turn our lives around, to be good people and to reach our highest potential. Therefore, we can have successful relationships, we can have a successful marriage no matter how complicated, hard or scary it looks. We hold the keys: God's Word and Spirit.
2. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the lord.
In other words, she is the price. I love the Bible because it is really clear on this subject; We, as women, don’t have to pursue men. We, as women, don’t have to chase men. They have to do the work.
3. Don’t tryna change nobody
Trying to change someone is the same as wanting to do God's work. It’s tricky because we want to help and we do think we can help because we have the Holy Spirit in us. But I don’t think it works like that. I think you want to marry the right one in the first place (a real man haha) and know what marriage takes, so you don’t find yourself in a place where you might be tempted to want to change your spouse afterwards.
That being said, things happen and people change. You may want to bring them back to the old version, but all I’d have to say about this is pray, keep doing good and trust in God’s faithfulness and written promises.
4. Don’t compromise
Don’t go for someone you’re not supposed to go for and then ask God why it isn’t working out. Once again, you want go for a real man, a luxury type of man, the guy that’s perfect for you and that you usually don’t find right around the corner. Be patient and be obedient, sis. Because if you aren't, you’ll have to learn from your mistakes.
Once you're married,
5. Don’t live like brothers and sisters
The pastor underlined the fact that some couples lived with no romance, no efforts made towards each other to keep the flame burning, as if the marriage was the end of the journey. It is only the beginning! There has to be work, there has to be intentionality, closeness not just routine, daily issues, fights and so on. You have to remain in love, crushing forever and nurturing that attraction towards your spouse.
7. Break the routine
A Routine has to be broken from time to time, so break it. B-REAK IT.
Fidelity is essential, it is not an option.
9. Help a spouse out
Yes! Help your spouse out. There’s this curious myth that it is always the husband vs. the wife. Aren’t spouses supposed to be best friends? Partners in crime? A refuge for each other?
"Us against the world?"
So, I don’t understand where that myth comes from but it is definitely not God’s design for marriage and a loving relationship. To me, God’s perspective for husbands and wives sounds more like: I got your back, wherever you at. So, make sure you remain best friends and each other’s best company.
At the end of the day, you want to be comfortable with the one you choose for your life and have God’s peace within you.
Any tips on how to make a marriage thrive?
One of my favorite resources is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is a must read for married and soon to be married couples!